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for social connections continues to remain the same size.And while some of those needs are met by our romantic partners, it still leaves a void.
Women are more likely to sit around and talk about themselves when they’re with their friends.
We have our poker nights, our guys nights out, our fishing trips because we want that sense of community and brotherhood that we don’t dare ask for.
The great irony, of course, is the same things that brings men together is exactly what keeps them apart….
By the time we reach 30, we tend to stop making friends.
Worse, we tend to friends at an increasing rate; some studies suggest we lose half our social circle every seven years.
As we grow up, we learn the lessons of manhood: we don’t cry, we don’t admit weakness.
We don’t talk about our feelings; we bottle that shit up and face the world with stoic resolve.
If we let down our guard, it’s only so that others can make us put our guard back up.
Our bros are there to tell us to man the fuck up and do what needs to be done. And so we go seeking those connections without ever explicitly admitting to it.
There was an often shockingly diverse group of people – different races, ethnicities and social classes – who were coming together to learn and to share.
To be sure, we were coming together in the context of “We are doing this to get laid” and framed sex as an “us vs. Even more so, we have few connections with men where we can let our guard down and be our true selves.
It becomes a perverse balancing act: trying to bond without the shame of acknowledging your emotions.