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Unfortunately, while I’d like to appeal to emotion (as Lori did), I have to appeal to logic.
Everyone I know that married because the partner seemed a great choice, would be a great dad, etc. The FEW couples I know who are happily married – still love to hold hands AND ‘make-out’ – THEY married someone they felt intense chemistry for & vice versa…and of EVERY one of the divorced friends, several who are dating but have not found love, only ONE tells me she made the wrong choice leaving. As such, I’m not going to sweep Lori’s points under the rug or deny her 13 years of pain.
At the height of his addiction, nothing, not even the risk of losing his job or his marriage, is enough to stop him.
This explains how a politician or celebrity can make such risky, career-destroying moves without stopping to consider the consequences.
Don’t get me wrong, intimate moments were always adequate…even pretty damn good at times. Almost fourteen years later, I remain married and faithful, but with an empty space in my heart.
And wondering if I aspired to mediocrity and lost out on the amazing feeling most of us have felt at some time, of true selfless love. And that is what has happened to EACH AND EVERY married friend I have, (male and female) that married simply because of the reasons you mention…
Whether Lori knows them or not, there are plenty of happy couples who did not have instant magic and chemistry. It’s dangerous to extrapolate from five divorced friends who regretted their choice of husbands and conclude “this is how the world works”.
Next, Lori’s making the assumption that every woman who didn’t have that ga-ga, giddy, wobbly-kneed feeling about her husband feels as empty as she does in her relationship. People who are generally satisfied in life are satisfied in marriage.
” – you might have a long and lonely road ahead of you.
And I’d rather you have a happy relationship instead.
Your husband had this addiction, or the proclivity toward it, before he ever met you, regardless of what he says.
In spite of what you think or even what he might have said, nothing you could do could be enough to sexually satisfy your porn addicted spouse.
Since this is a “process addiction,” versus a chemical addiction, it is so hard for wives to understand. There are many different compartments so that he can divide his life up into separate components that don’t touch each other.