How long dating before moving in
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It seems that my great grandparents’ rule forbidding my grandmother from going out with the same guy twice in a row was a common rule in those days.The Greatest Generation was encouraged to date and discouraged from going steady while in middle school.
I talked with homeschool parents, students and alumni all over the country and started to see some challenges with making courtship work.This meant that by the time she was 17 years old she knew which Bob she wanted to marry.They got married and stayed married till my grandfather passed away half a century later.She went on to explain that there used to be a linguistic differentiation between “dating” and “going steady”.“Going steady” meant you were going out with the same person multiple times in a row.Marriage will always be a bit like jumping into a pool of cold water.
A humble realization that you are not ready and in need of God’s help may be the more healthy way to start a marriage.
So what on earth were they doing that worked so well?
Over dinner, my grandmother shared her story about what dating was like back in the 30s and 40s.
Visits and comments poured in from all over the country about how to make courtship work and why it did not work. I’m talking the kind of couples who first kissed at their wedding were filing for divorce. The deal was that if we put up with the rules and awkwardness of courtship now we could avoid the pain of divorce later.
Each year I waited for courtship to start working and for my homeschool friends to start getting married. The whole point of courtship was to have a happy marriage, not a high divorce rate.
So I humbled myself and took my grandmother out for dinner to hear why she thought courtship was a bad idea all those years ago.