Dating married spanko
Dating married spanko - elan dating service chicago reviews
The hardest thing has not been the play; when turned on, Emily can take an almighty spanking, and a caning that would make an English schoolboy squeal. Why would I need to spank someone else, if I didn't want to sleep with that person?
I was 30 years old and for the first time in my life I was going to tell a girlfriend that I wanted to spank her. And I knew that telling her might mean the immediate death of our relationship, but I also knew we'd never be perfect together unless I looked into her pretty blue eyes and told this sweet, innocent, beautiful woman that I had a spanking fetish.
We were in bed, still in those heady, lust-filled days of a new relationship.
I really liked her, suspected that I might even love her, which meant I had to tell her the truth about myself.
If they let me, I landed a few gentle slaps to the bottom until I got a curled lip and, "That's just weird. The closest I came to telling anyone was Jennifer, the girl I dated right before Emily.
She told me it was sick and made me see a psychotherapist who, I found out later, labeled me in her notes as a sexual sadist.
I've never hit a woman in my life, and abhor those who do, including those who emotionally abuse their partners. In a 2011 article in Salon, Debby Herbenick, a research scientist and sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, was quoted as saying that no study has ever been done that would give a solid figure on how common spanking is.
That's the essence of my shame, deepened by the impossibility of trying to explain it to someone who is not a spanko, someone who isn't wired to understand. A few playful swats during sex seem fun, while serious spankings seem damaged and perverse. I can tell you that just one of the many spanking subgroups on the adult website Fetlife contains more than 17,000 members.When I was a kid I used to look up the word "spanking" in the dictionary, and I got a visceral thrill when I saw a spanking scene on “Little House on the Prairie” or “I Love Lucy.”At times, spanking was an obsession, and one made all the more torturous for the shame I felt harboring it.For more than 20 years I thought there was something wrong with me.This obsession felt impossible to share, so I was always hungry for cues that someone could relate."I relate.As a man, though, it's a little different -- we're not supposed to hurt women, we're supposed to protect them.Spanking was a massive part of my sexuality, and that was something she needed to know. Once or twice, when we've forgotten to close the bedroom window, I suspect it has.