A mans field guide to dating
A mans field guide to dating
Afraid you can't hold the door or offer to pay for dinner for fear of insulting a feminist? Learn what's true and what's a myth in our deconstruction of the modern American Feminist. No, not the fun F word (really, who doesn’t crack up when they see fecundity in print? More specifically, I’m going to take a crack at providing a crash course in feminist mythbusting for Primer’s mostly male audience in an effort to soothe your furrowed brows and smooth your interactions with the opposite sex.
That’s like saying all football fans root for the same team or all Christians share an identical faith. In fact, the heterogeneity of modern feminism makes mythbusting a mite tricky, as for every assumption I debunk, you could beat the bushes (yes, that’s a cringe-worthy pun and no, I won’t reword it) and dig up a singular example to contract it. To think otherwise would be on par with assuming every man who belonged to a college fraternity was a keg-loving, flipflop-sporting, Ed Hardy-worshipping dudebro and we know that isn’t the case.This is where a lot of men get anxious and are unsure of the correct approach to avoid offending.Alas, aside from avoiding hooting at women on the sidewalk from your car or catcalling them on the street (and I’ll give you full credit for knowing how utterly inexcusable that is), there are no hard and fast protocols to cover social fraternizing between the sexes.And hold the expectation that the object of these gestures should absolutely respond respectfully (even if she disagrees), too. I know very few folks who will turn down a few sincere words of well-phrased (hint: the term “rack” doesn’t fall into this category) praise or appreciation for their charms.Grab the door for anyone who needs a hand and accept it when someone (male or female) does it for you. To end things on a positive and inclusive note, I want leave you with my hands-down favorite definition of feminism and the one I reference whenever someone asks me how I define feminism or expresses doubt as to whether the term applies to them.Yes, they are extremely beautiful, intelligent, and accomplished, which can be intimidating to mere mortals—or dudes with a lack of self-confidence.
But like any human being, there are ways to approach and start a conversation with these women that won't make you look like a creep or an idiot.Dude, tell that to Betty Dodson (I interviewed her; she is one rocking octogenarian! Sex (of whatever variety tickles one’s particular fancy) isn’t the issue – double standards around sexual behavior (the slut vs.stud conundrum), a society that is reluctant to let go of the deplorable “she was asking for it” rape defense, women who are never taught to seek out or value their own sexual pleasure and pop cultural portrayals of sex that either disregard it or exploit it to sell everything from shampoo to socks (lookin’ at you, American Apparel) are what gets under feminists’ skin.If you’re nice, she might even tell you what the J. In a time of uncertainty with a faltering economy and rising unemployment, you might think it's best to nail down a job, any job, no matter how demeaning answering phones or passing out mail seems. [more] These days, sportcoats act more as ornaments to create a dressy appearance, but they’re still coats.There’s no reason you can’t use it functionally too. [more] Gone are the days of having to schlep from Goodwill to Salvation Army, digging through the Grandma-only sized remaining ugly Christmas sweaters.Erika (Erikarose) — Jason’s date Erika is beautiful, but perhaps not the most intelligent person you’ll ever meet.